


He Remembers Like It Was Yesterday

by tigris45



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M, Mostly Fluff, Tumblr Prompt, nomorelonelydays is incredible, omg so much fluff, pen pal au, some mention of past abuse, super fluff, very slight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-21 05:56:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11351283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigris45/pseuds/tigris45
Summary: Sid remembers the first letter he wrote to Zhenya in class like it was yesterday. Sid remembers getting Zhenya’s last letter like it was yesterday. He remembered the hit like it was yesterday.





	He Remembers Like It Was Yesterday

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CoffeeStars](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeeStars/gifts).



> This is for the wonderful [Bee](http://nomorelonelydays.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr. I tried to write this on anon in her asks, but got frustrated, so here I am! I hope you all enjoy!

Sid remembers the first letter he wrote to Zhenya in class like it was yesterday. Although, it must’ve been over five years at this point. He wrote so often to Zhenya, it made up for the fact that he wasn’t here in Canada. He told Zhenya everything, from his day to hockey to dreams and goals. He told Zhenya the bad stuff to: the parents who yelled at h9im. The kids who hit him. The teammates that sneered at him in the locker room. Zhenya always comforted him and promised things would be okay. He begged his mom to let him learn Russian. Sid practiced with Zhenya, and it always seemed to make Zhenya happy.  
He has Zhenya’s address memorized for the largest part of those five years. He kept a map of Magnitorgsk under his pillow. There was a suitcase under his bed with clothes and some essentials, including a stash of money. It was all there, just in case.  
Sid remembers getting Zhenya’s last letter like it was yesterday. Although, it must have been a year ago.  
My dearest Sid,  
I am so sorry for you. Those people say awful terrible things. I want you to love hockey as much as I do. But, I’m know it must be hard for you. This letter hard to write. Miss you most, Sid. Is weird for me to miss someone I never meet?  
Sid, you are most dear to me. Always have been. But, now I know what that means. It means I’m love you. I’m love you for a long time. I’m sorry if not the same for you. Don't have to respond to this letter. Sorry is short. I’m love you Sid. Love you most. -Zhenya. 

Sid doesn’t know how Zhenya thought he wouldn’t respond. Of course he wrote back right away, professing undying love for him, and a wish for them to be together. But, it never reached him. His mom had given him the letter back, three days later with a sad look. Sid was confused as first when he saw the return to sender stamp across the front. Then, he was devastated. He spent the night crying into his pillow so no one could hear him. Who was he going to tell his secrets to? Who was going to tell him everything would be okay when his team didn’t care for him? Who was he going to love?  
He continued to write to Zhenya, never putting a return address, hoping the mail would somehow before forwarded and Zhenya would know Sid loved him too. He kept the map, the suitcase and stash of money where it was, just in case he ever needed to escape to Russia.  
He remembered the hit like it was yesterday, because it was yesterday. He’d never been in so much pain in his life. Everything was blurry. It was almost like he was underwater. He knows the sixteen-year-old was just angry with him. He doesn’t know a hockey player who’s not angry with him (with the exception of Zhenya). But, he doesn’t think that makes it okay.  
Sid hates the hospital. He wishes there was a way for him to talk to Zhenya. It’s the only person he really wants to talk to right now. His mom keeps her arm around him and his dad sleeps in the corner chair. He’s allowed to leave the hospital the next day. He vows that when the casts come off, he will go to Russia. He will find Zhenya, no matter how hard he had to look.  
Two months later, he gets the casts off. He never been more or more determined in his life. He repacks his suitcase with clothes that fit and some essentials he missed. He leaves late in the night, when he knows his parents are sleeping. He makes it all the way to the airport on the bus before his parents find him. He cries in his mother’s arms all the way home. He quits hockey after that. He can’t do it anymore, not without Zhenya’s constant encouragement.  
He goes cold turkey. He starts going to school again after a week or not doing anything. It feels weird to go to school knowing he doesn’t have hockey practice afterwards. He doesn’t play street hockey with his dad. He makes his mom put all his gear and posters and pucks and medals and pictures in a box (well several) in the garage. He stops writing to Zhenya completely. 

 

It’s been two years, and Sid barely even had a hockey thought cross his mind once a month. He’s in the summer before his first year of high school. He still hasn’t learned to trust anyone, and he’s never been more quiet in his life. He helps his mother take care of Taylor, but other than he doesn’t really do anything. That is, until he gets a letter in the mail from an address in Russia that he’s never seen but from a name he’ll never forget.  
My Dearest Sidney,  
Maybe is stupid I write to you again. Think that when I send last letter before I move, I never hear from you again. And I didn’t. I guess I should known. I’m sorry. But, wanted to tell you I drafted by super league. Wanted to tell you I’m miss you. Wanted to tell you I’m love you, even if you no love me. I wish I write to you more. Hope that one day I meet you. Hope that one day I play hockey with you. I know this letter probably no go to you. You probably move too. But, miss you Sid. I hope I not lose forever. I love you. -Zhenya

Sid holds it, crying. He sits in his room and sobs over the letter. He loves Zhenya, always has. He hates that his letter was returned to him all those years ago. He cries until he realizes he can write Zhenya again. He has the address. He quickly wipes away his tears so he can write a response.  
He doesn’t know what to say. So many things have changed since they last spoke. How does he tell his biggest supporter that he quit? So he doesn’t. He tells Zhenya how much he misses him. He tells Zhenya he wishes they could meet. He doesn’t tell him about hockey of the lack thereof. He doesn’t tell him about the abuse. He doesn’t tell him that he stopped because the letters stopped. He’s teary eyed when he puts it in the mailbox.  
He waits anxiously for the next week and a half. He tears Zhenya’s letter open and reads the messy scrawl with tears in his eyes.

My Dearest Sidney,  
I not know how to say how much I love you in English. Wish I could see you. I’m sure you busy with hockey but if you have time, come see me in Russia! There’s a schedule inside envelope. Please come see me. Must me beautiful, hockey boy who loves me too. I love you -Zhenya.  
Sid pulls out the schedule and compares it to his school schedule. There’s a few home games for Zhenya right when Sid gets out for winter break. He begs his parents. He begs and begs and begs. It takes about a week to convince them to take a week-long trip to Russia so Sid can visit.  
He writes Zhenya the good news. He tells him his plans to come out in December and that he wants to see Zhenya play. He can’t believe he’s finally going to meet Zhenya, the person he’s loved his whole life, the person that kept him going through the roughest times.  
He’s packed for three weeks prior to when they’re leaving. His mother is just happy to see Sid this happy. 

He remembers meeting Zhenya like it was yesterday, because it was. It was beyond words. Sid got to watch Zhenya skate and play amazing hockey. He gets to wear Zhenya’s jersey that Zhenya sent him. He gets to walk into the locker room with a VIP lanyard. He gets to be whipped up into Zhenya’s arms without hesitation. He gets to listen to Zhenya murmur sweet Russian in his ear. He doesn’t know what it means. But he’ll learn. He’ll learn.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. You can find my Tumblr [here](https://hockeyisallineed.tumblr.com/)! Please leave if a comment if you liked it!!! Thanks again!


End file.
